I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
