Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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