we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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