At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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