So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
