Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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