matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
