i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
