Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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