I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize