Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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