Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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