How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
