omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
