guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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