There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
