Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
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Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize