Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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