She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
you made out with another girl for some wings
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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