Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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