I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
