people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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