I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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