dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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