I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
