He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
