sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
