I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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