plz talk dirty to me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This house was built for laser tag.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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