I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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