Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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