So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
