we're blogging at a bar
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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