piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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