She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize