I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
