I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
