Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
