Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I want to fling myself into the sun
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
