the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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