the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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