even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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