Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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