Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
