Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
