I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
