I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My bed smells like the plague
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
