What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
