Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
