Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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