It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I checked into jail on foursquare
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
