All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
