And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
