just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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