we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Randomize
