I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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