it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
