Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize