as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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