seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
