my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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