So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My cat gives me a boner
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
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There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.