I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
