Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.